MATRESCENCE: A SURVIVAL GUIDE
Photo Credit: Unsplash / @bethanybeck
Matrescence describes the beautiful in between phase of a woman’s life while she is figuring out who she is amongst the transformation of becoming a mother. Side note: Why is there no unproblematic alternative to the term ‘maiden’ or childless woman? Matrescence encompasses all of the physical, emotional, psychological and social changes in this intense new phase of life.
In a similar way to adolescence, this can feel like an awkward rite of passage into unknown territory, a spiritual awakening of sorts that leaves you feeling vulnerable and cracked wide open. So naturally, it can take time for you to adjust. I’ve compiled a list of a few ways you can move through this sacred time, take what resonates and leave the rest.
GET CURIOUS ABOUT THIS NEW YOU
Pretend you’re just meeting yourself for the very first time, ask yourself questions via journaling, dig deep into your feelings, thoughts and even decipher the meaning behind your dreams during this time. Try to stay present within your body and mind and pay attention to the messages you’re receiving. Meet yourself with compassion and grace.
PRIORITISE RESTORATION
Your body has just gone through a huge amount of change and still needs enough fuel to be able to heal, and sustain you and your new baby if you choose to breastfeed. Pour into yourself with nourishing food and water that will give you the energy you need. Create non-negotiable moments for self-care. These don’t have to be time-consuming or expensive, just little pick-me-up moments that make you feel more human.
Remember to get some fresh air and move your body, allow nature to support you. You could also take it a step further by embarking on a period of postpartum confinement to focus on yourself, bond with your baby and heal. Alternatively, you could look into investing in rituals like a closing the bones ceremony or learn how to practice traditional belly binding to help restore your body back to health.
PRACTICE REGULATION
In preparation for birth and breastfeeding, we talk a lot in my classes about creating a sense of safety in your body, which is otherwise known as nervous system regulation. This enables your body to function optimally and creates a more easeful birth and feeding experience. In the postpartum period regulation is just as important. The first step is self-awareness, understanding your triggers and whether your body requires reinvigoration or peace. Then finding the practices that help your body to return to harmony, whether that’s movement, breathwork or mindset shifts.
CREATE A SOLID VILLAGE
Matrescence can unfortunately bring unexpected shifts in your close circle. For the people pleasers out there, this can be a time of reckoning where the need for boundaries becomes tougher than ever to ignore. The clearer you can articulate your needs and expectations, the easier the transition will be. Lean into those who validate and support your choices and embrace opportunities to meet more like-minded mums who get it. Be protective of your bubble and have those tough conversations early, so you have a plan in place when the time comes.
TRUST THAT YOU ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH
Matrescence is a journey of getting to know, accept, love and trust yourself at its core. So use this time to strengthen your intuition and follow through on the promises you make to yourself. There’s no rush and no one way of doing anything. Just focus on connecting with yourself and your baby, adjusting to this new family you’ve built. Give yourself permission to do it messily and authentically. You’ve got this mama.
In my postnatal offering, Mindful Baby we explore the SPACES philosophy, which is all about the topics covered in this blog and finding a way home to yourself. It is a weekly opportunity to honour your needs and wants during this phase of your life, learn more about yourself, and get real time latch support to help with breastfeeding. If it feels like this is the opportunity you have been waiting for, or you know someone who would love this, book your free call or send me an email.
Love, Megan
