HOLDING SPACE FOR CONNECTION DURING PREGNANCY
Photo Credit: @camylla93 / Unsplash
Holding your first baby for the very first time can be one of the most magical moments in life. For some mums those maternal instincts and deep love comes instantly, and for others it can take a little while for things to feel real. Prenatal bonding is a great way to help you feel close to your baby during pregnancy that has numerous benefits for you both.
PHYSICAL WAYS TO CONNECT
If positive touch is your thing, you could rub on your belly, play pat a cake when you feel them kicking, or allow your partner to kiss your bump. Finding ways to stay active in pregnancy can help prepare your body for labour, encourage your baby to move into the optimal position for birth, and boost those endorphins to improve your mental wellbeing. When you’re having a good time dancing, your baby can revel in that happy energy too. One of the most precious things I’ve heard is how babies love having you pat their bum and back because it is a familiar sensation to the beat and rhythm of your heart when they were in the womb. Being present in your body during pregnancy can help you enjoy pregnancy more and pick up on any changes quickly that will impact your care.
CREATING AN EMOTIONAL BOND
When words feel more impactful, you could recite affirmations, sing, read out loud, narrate your day or just simply express your love for them. Talking to your baby during pregnancy can help with your baby’s brain development and make it easier to connect with your baby in those early weeks after they are born. Plus, the familiarity of your voice and certain songs they’ve heard you sing or play for them in the womb will prove comforting for them once earthside.
If speaking out loud feels cringey, you could also write letters to your unborn child or document memories of your pregnancy and birth through journaling and scrapbooking for them to read when they’re older. Collecting thoughtful pieces for their nursery is another way to show them how much you care about them and were thinking of them during pregnancy.
An underrated aspect of creating a secure emotional attachment with your child is modelling self-regulation of your nervous system. When you dedicate time for intentional relaxation during your pregnancy, you train yourself to feel calm on command, which is an invaluable skill for birth and parenting. Whenever you feel calm and/or loved, the hormone oxytocin gets released in your body, which turbocharges that feeling for both you and your baby. We talk a lot about how to do this in my hypnobirthing classes.
INCLUDING THEM IN YOUR FAITH AND SPIRITUALITY
If passing on your religion or spiritual beliefs is important to you, you could also pray over your unborn child or say your prayers out loud. You could play guided meditation/relaxation tracks and be intentional about connecting with your baby’s energy. This will make you feel less alone in pregnancy and during birth, so that you feel like you’re working together to bring your baby into the world. You could create daily rituals to prepare for birth and meeting your baby. Fans of astrology and human design could also organize for their baby’s charts to be created, so that they can be intentional about learning how to parent their specific child and cater to their unique needs.
This is not an exhaustive list of all the ways you can feel more connected to your baby, but it’s a great start. Not only does prenatal bonding help you lean into pregnancy and have a smoother birth, but it can also help make breastfeeding a more easeful experience. If you plan on chest feeding your baby, check out my free guide on golden hour breastfeeding entitled ‘Connected From The First Feed’. It breaks down all the ways you can get breastfeeding off to the best start in that very first hour after birth.
Love, Megan
